your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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