No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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