ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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