what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
