they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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