I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
