Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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