I just made out with a guy for $7.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
