he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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