I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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