walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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