I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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