lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
