Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
