You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
