So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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