the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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