he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
