He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
