your thong is hanging out like whoa
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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