She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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