forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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