LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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