Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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