Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
