Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
