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I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
