we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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