party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
