Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
