Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize