My first STD was from a foam party
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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