Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
