Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
