dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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