I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
