Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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