i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
