So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
