Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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