Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
