Fuck appropriateness.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize