But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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