Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
