"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
