pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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