sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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