You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
