I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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