Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize