fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
