drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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