Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize