Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
